“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord.” – Proverbs 18:22
Key Points
- Proverbs 18:22 celebrates a godly wife as a gift and a sign of the Lord’s favor.
- A wife is not meant to carry every burden alone, but to be honored as a partner of strength, wisdom, love, and support.
- Biblical marriage reflects partnership, trust, peace, respect, and mutual care between husband and wife.
- A good wife brings encouragement and stability, helping create a home marked by love, safety, and faithfulness.
- Husbands can apply Proverbs 18:22 by cherishing their wives, honoring their value, and refusing to take their love for granted.
All the fixings of a pasta dinner were nearly ready when my phone chirped at me again. It was Chris who texted me how he really felt at a work meeting long after the workday was over. Stressed, he sent me the head explosion emoji. I smiled, texted back,
“No worries, babe. I’ll keep supper warm for you.”
“So glad I have you,” he texted back. Over the next hour, he would text compliments in between complaints about the work meeting. Later, when he walked in the door, his face lit up when he saw me and supper waiting.
“How did I find such a good wife?” he commented while he added Buitoni to his plate.
I wasn’t always an accommodating wife. But over the years, my heart has softened towards Chris and the pressures of his job. We’ve come full circle, and the journey wouldn’t be complete without each other. I learned over the years of restoring our house that marriage is much like building a home. The way I support him is what carpenters call sister joists.
In the early phases of restoring our home, we found that one of the main joists was carrying more than its fair share of the load. The previous owners wanted an open concept for the living room and dining room, but they didn’t reinforce the joists properly, and the joists were in dire need of a sister joist. This does not mean a wife exists to carry every emotional, spiritual, or practical burden in a marriage; it means God designed marriage as a partnership where a wife’s strength, wisdom, love, and presence are deeply valuable.
Joists in a home’s structure are designed to carry a specific load, and sometimes sister joists are added to strengthen the main joist. Sometimes these joists are added when a new load will be heavier than the previous design. Finding a good wife is like adding a sister joist.
What Does Proverbs 18:22 Mean?
This phrase comes from Proverbs 18:22. It says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord” (NKJV).
A man cannot attain anything better than a good wife. “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels” (Proverbs 31:10). Such a good wife is hard to find. The word excellent (hayil) can mean “strength, capability, valor, or dignity.” This woman exemplifies each of these qualities, having great competence, noble character, and a strong commitment to God and her family. Only the Lord can provide such an excellent woman. This good woman is a priceless gift from God. So, what is a good wife? The Bible says a wife is a help-meet, a partner, a virtuous woman with the grace of God upon her. She is her husband’s crown jewel, his lover, his confidant, the mother of his children, and so many more things.
Proverbs 18:22 is not meant to reduce a wife to what she can do for her husband, but to recognize her as a God-given blessing, partner, and person of strength whose presence brings favor into a marriage. Let’s celebrate 3 reasons why when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing!
1. A Good Wife Offers Strength and Support
One of the best things about being in a marriage is knowing your partner has your back through the ups and downs life will inevitably bring. When it comes to having a wife, men say there is nothing better than the knowledge and trust that come with knowing their wives support them. God didn’t create Eve to be under Adam’s feet or to be inferior to him. When the design of marriage became a construction zone, God saw it fit to create a sister joist. Eve was designed and built to support Adam. This was the construction and structure of the first marriage.
“And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’” – Gen. 2:18
The word helper means one who aids another. Thus, the woman was created because the man needed help with his responsibilities. This same word helper is used in reference to the Lord Himself. David said concerning God: “The helpless commits himself to You; You are the helper of the fatherless” (Ps. 10:14). Jesus also called the Holy Spirit our Helper who would be sent to aid us in our service to the Father (John 14:16). Take note that Eve was created to be comparable to Adam. The word comparable means one who is a counterpart or the matching mate of the other.
A house is just a house until your talents, soul, personality, and nurturing make it a home. It’s been said that a wife is the heart of the home. That’s because wives see their husbands and children and meet them. Wives can add warmth to the day-to-day routine. Wives, more than anyone or anything, have the greatest impact on the future of their husbands, children, and home. Their development, character, and destiny are in her hands because a wife is there to support her man. A wife is there to support her man when work is demanding. A wife is there to support her man in challenging situations. To remind him of his abilities and talents. To remind him of who he is as a man of God. A wife is there to support her man, to help him accomplish more. To turn his recklessness into boldness. To replace his insecurity with confidence. How amazing it is to have a godly woman who supports you.
2. A Good Wife Helps Create Peace and Trust
When a man looks forward to going home, it’s because his wife has become his home. Her words, her tone, her smile, and her knowledge of who he is speak peace to her husband. Paul reminds us, “In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything” (1 Timothy 3:11). In other words, this is a woman who is not overly proud, knows when to speak and when to be silent, and is able to take her place beside her husband in confidence.
Peace is the result of trust. It’s the calm assurance that comes from knowing your partner can be counted on. It allows your spouse to feel safe, it deepens his love, and causes friendship, emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy to blossom. Her body speaks peace because she embraces him with open arms, her lips are filled with laughter, and her words are filled with peace. When trust is lacking in a marriage, suspicion and fear can dominate, leaving the relationship feeling very insecure. He doesn’t need to worry about nagging, cold shoulders, a cold bed, and withering looks. One of the Old Testament words for trust (batach) means “confidence that causes one to be carefree.” Your man trusts you because you are his support, his security, his place of safety. When he is around you, he can let his guard down. He knows he is accepted and loved.
3. A Good Wife Builds Intimacy, Respect, and Partnership
A good wife meets her husband’s desires. Your thoughts may have drifted to the bedroom, and while this is a big part of a healthy marriage, we’re talking about all of his desires from his wife:
- His desire to be respected.
- His desire for her loyalty.
- His desire for her to nurture his children.
- His desire for her to take care of her health and appearance.
- His desire for her to let him lead.
- His desire is for her to be happy with all that he provides.
- His desire for recreational companionship with her.
Why a Godly Wife Is a Gift from the Lord
Proverbs 31:10-11 reminds us: “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”
Husbands look to their wives to meet the desires of their hearts. He can get respect at work, companionship from his friends, and admiration for other women, but he wants and needs these things from his wife. Women, you truly are your man’s treasure. You are the good thing in his life. You are valuable to him. When he finds you as a wife, he obtains favor from the Lord. You are his blessing. You are the love of his life. Continue to be a good thing in his life: woo him, love him, smile often. Be his help-meet, be his cheerleader, and brag about him often. Be his sister joist. Be the good thing.
Frequently Asked Questions about the Meaning of Proverbs 18:22
- What does “he who finds a wife finds a good thing” mean?
Proverbs 18:22 means that a godly wife is a blessing and favor from the Lord. The verse celebrates marriage as a good gift from God and honors the value of a wife. - Does Proverbs 18:22 mean every Christian must get married?
No. Proverbs 18:22 celebrates marriage, but it does not teach that every person must marry. Scripture honors both marriage and singleness as ways to serve God faithfully. - What is a good wife according to the Bible?
A good wife is not defined by perfection, appearance, or performance. Scripture celebrates a wife who is wise, strong, faithful, kind, dignified, and reverent toward the Lord. - How can husbands apply Proverbs 18:22?
Husbands can apply Proverbs 18:22 by seeing their wives as gifts from God, honoring them, encouraging them, listening to them, and refusing to take their strength and love for granted. - How can wives be encouraged by Proverbs 18:22?
Wives can remember that their presence, wisdom, support, love, and faithfulness matter deeply. They are not invisible to God, and their value is not measured only by what they do for others.
For Further Reading
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Micah & Sammie Chaffin
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