Glancing through my texts, I came across one from a friend inviting me to lunch. After politely declining, I thought to myself, “I’m a terrible friend. Poor Susan must think I’ve abandoned her.” While I wanted to be there for my friend, I made little effort to do so. The Lord had blessed me with a dear friend, but I had taken our friendship for granted. Tearfully, I asked God to show me how to be a better friend.
What Does Proverbs Teach Us about Friendship?
Proverbs teaches that friendship should be marked by love, loyalty, honesty, wisdom, discretion, generosity, and encouragement that helps both friends grow in godliness. In our fast-paced society, where a quick text has taken the place of genuine conversation, investing in a friendship can seem a daunting task. Although balancing the demands of family and career leaves little time to nurture our relationships, it is important that we do so if we desire to have lasting friendships. Proverbs gives us practical wisdom for Christian friendship by showing us not only what kind of friends to choose, but what kind of friend we are called to become.
Here are 10 Proverbs that teach us how to be better friends to the people in our lives. These Proverbs about friendship show that a godly friend is not only present in easy seasons but is loving, trustworthy, wise, loyal, honest, dependable, discreet, generous, and willing to help others grow.
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Artyom Kabajev
1. A Good Friend Is Loving
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17 (ESV)
When you think about the meaning of friendship, what comes to mind? Friendship is a relationship between two people based on mutual care, trust, respect, and support. Friends share common interests, enjoy being together, and appreciate each other. Beyond simply liking and caring for our friends, Proverbs teaches us that we should love them always—in good times and in bad. More than an emotional connection, loving our friends requires a commitment on our part.
When we love our friends, we love them with the same love Jesus has for us. Jesus demonstrated His love by laying down His life for us. He instructs us to do the same in 1 John 3:16, “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.” As we seek to become better friends, our love for one another binds us together.
Reflection question: How can I be a better friend by loving and supporting my friends when they need me?
Photo Credit: ©Pexels/Elle Hughes
2. A Good Friend Is Trustworthy
“Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.” Proverbs 11:12–13
The writer of Proverbs understood that we must build our friendships on a foundation of trust. To be trustworthy means we are worthy of another person’s confidence. We do not speak negatively about our friends behind their backs or reveal secrets they spoke to us in private. Who hasn’t known someone who can’t keep a secret? When someone we think we can trust divulges intimate details of our lives or spreads rumors about us, it is devastating. If a close friend breaks our trust, it’s heartbreaking.
If we desire to be a good friend to others, we must honor our friendship by holding the stories they share with us close to our hearts. We have nothing to gain by repeating our friend’s confidential information–and everything to lose. The foundation of a beautiful friendship is being a trustworthy friend.
Reflection question: What changes do I need to make to be a more trustworthy friend to the people I care about?
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Sabrina Bracher
3. A Good Friend Is Wise
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Proverbs 13:20
Do you know someone who is wise? How about a person who behaves foolishly? I have known people who seem to gravitate towards trouble–– and drag others right along with them. When it comes to our friends, we must be careful which ones we choose because “bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33).
The world is full of fools, but truly wise friends are a treasure to hold on to. But how do we become wise? The Bible teaches us to let the word of Christ dwell in us richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom (Colossians 3:16). While people possess a diversity of opinions, the word of God guides us in how to give sound advice and godly counsel to our friends, especially to those who are making foolish decisions. One of the best ways to be a good friend is to be an example of wisdom, not only in word but in action.
Reflection question: How can I be a better friend by seeking to grow in wisdom and understanding through God’s word?
Photo Credit: ©Getty-AntonioGuillem
4. A Good Friend Is Loyal
“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24
My mother used to tell me that if I were lucky, I would be able to count on one hand the number of people who would be my lifelong friends. “Friends come and go in life,” she said. “Some are here for only a season. Few will be with you for the long run.” Mom was right. While I have had some good friends in my life, my few closest friends are rare treasures.
God never intended for us to be loners in this world. Solomon, in his wisdom, wrote in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” May we be the kind of friend who is loyal, who sticks close, and who remains steadfast for years to come.
Reflection question: How can I be a loyal friend to someone who feels alone or rejected?
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/JasonDoiy
5. A Good Friend Is Honest
“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” Proverbs 27:5–6
When I was a child, there was a cartoon character named Jiminy Cricket who sang a little ditty, “Honesty, no matter what the consequences be, is the very best policy.” There was something about a cricket sporting a top hat that made the tune more memorable. As an adult, it is not always easy to live by this motto, especially when it means hurting the ones I love. Does the Bible instruct us to be honest, even at the expense of our friends’ feelings?
While it should never be our intent to hurt others, the Bible exhorts us to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Are you willing to address the sin in your friend’s life if doing so may be hard for them to receive? Humbly ask the Lord to show you how to share your concerns with your friend in a way that will offer hope and healing to their soul.
Reflection question: How can I lovingly share my concerns with my friend without seeming judgmental?
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Omar Lopez
6. A Good Friend Is Dependable
“Many a man proclaims his steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?” Proverbs 20:6
One of the most cherished qualities of a good friend is dependability. To be a dependable friend is to be reliable and someone others can count on. You may know an unreliable person, someone who promised to be there for you but then backed out at the last minute. While they may have intended to keep their word, they let you down by failing to keep their commitment. You may have done the same to your friends before and later regretted it.
I want to be the friend others can depend on, one who is there for them when they need me. Matthew 5:37 exhorts us, “Let what you say be ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” This means our friends can depend on us to be there for them. Let’s make it our goal to be better friends by being dependable, keeping our word, and showing up for our friends who need us.
Reflection question: How can I be a better friend by being there for people when they need me?
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Ihor Bulyhin
7. A Good Friend Is Righteous
“One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Proverbs 12:26
This proverb warns against hanging out with wicked people. To be wicked is to be ungodly, morally corrupt, and evil. While friends should have a positive influence on each other’s lives, this isn’t always the case. The Bible admonishes us to abhor what is evil and hold fast to what is good (Romans 12:9). A good friend warns the people they care about of the risk of being led astray by evil people.
The apostle John admonished his followers, “Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous” (1 John 3:7). As believers in Jesus Christ, we have a responsibility to lead others by example. If we desire to have a positive influence in their lives, we should seek to live in a manner that honors God by the words we speak, the decisions we make, and the actions we take. A righteous friend does not assume superiority over others; she seeks to live humbly before God and gently point her friends toward what is true and good.
Reflection question: How can I have a positive influence on my friends by living in a manner that pleases and honors God?
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Thomas Barwick
8. A Good Friend Is Discreet
“Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” Proverbs 17:9
Have you ever confessed your moral failure to someone, only to have them repeat it to others? When you confided in your friend, you thought they would handle your secret with discretion. Sadly, instead, they gossiped about you. I must confess that I also have repeated matters I promised to keep confidential. My lack of discretion has hurt others, but I have learned from these experiences to guard my words when it comes to others’ affairs.
1 Peter 4:8 encourages us with these words, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” Love covers sin; it doesn’t reveal it. If our friend confesses their sin to us, we are to forgive them and not repeat it. If they are sinning, we who are spiritual should go to them and restore them in a spirit of gentleness (Galatians 6:1). As we seek to be better friends to those we love, let’s make discretion a priority.
Reflection question: In what ways can I be a better friend by covering offenses instead of repeating them to others?
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Priscilla du Preez
9. A Good Friend Is Generous
“Whoever despises his neighbor is a sinner, but blessed is he who is generous to the poor.” Proverbs 14:21
What does it mean to be generous? Being generous with our resources means we are open-handed in our giving. Because God provides for us, we can share those blessings with the people in our lives who need our help. Not only should we be generous with our material possessions, but we are also to be generous with our time, help, and attention. I love the promise in Luke 6:38, “give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”
Are there people in your life with whom you can be generous? You may be struggling financially yourself right now. That’s okay. There are many ways to be generous toward others. Sharing a meal, helping around their house, or providing a listening ear are ways you can be generous with the gifts God has given you.
Reflection question: What resources do I have that I can generously share with my friends today?
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/AntonioGuillem
10. A Good Friend Helps You Grow
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
My best friend of over 50 years has a remarkable way of encouraging me in my calling and purpose. She sees my God-given gifts and talents, as well as the new opportunities for growth that the Lord brings my way. She is a wonderful cheerleader who believes in me and sees my potential. I try to do the same for her.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 instructs us to “encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” Are you in the habit of encouraging your friends? Do you recognize their gifts and talents? Are you willing to challenge them to reach their full potential?
Along with encouragement, we have the responsibility to exhort each other in our faith. “But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13). When friends mutually encourage and exhort each other, we sharpen each other. And that’s what friends are for.
Reflection question: How can I encourage my friends in the purpose and calling God has for their lives?
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Zinkevych
A Prayer for Good Friends
Lord Jesus.
I want to be a good friend to the people you bring into my life, but it can be hard. While I have good intentions, I often allow to get in the way of my friendships. Thank you for these ten proverbs that teach me how to be a better friend. I am grateful to reflect on these verses as I strive to be a blessing to my friends. May I love my friends as You love me by honoring Your commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39).
Help me always to be loving, trustworthy, wise, loyal, honest, dependable, righteous, discreet, generous, and refined towards my friends. I pray I will bring You glory in the way I treat my friends. May I remember to put their needs before my own as I willingly lay down my life for them. 1 Corinthians 13:13 tells us, “So now faith, hope, and love abide, but the greatest of these is love.” As I look to be a better friend, may I start by being a loving friend to the people you bring into my life?
Thank you, Jesus.
Amen.
Frequently Asked Questions about Proverbs and Friendship
- What does Proverbs say about friendship?
Proverbs teaches that good friendship is loving, loyal, trustworthy, honest, wise, discreet, dependable, generous, and willing to help another person grow. - What is a good Proverb about friendship?
Proverbs 17:17 is one of the clearest verses about friendship: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” - How can I be a better friend according to the Bible?
You can be a better friend by loving consistently, keeping confidences, speaking truth with gentleness, offering encouragement, being dependable, and seeking your friend’s good. - What does “iron sharpens iron” mean in friendship?
“Iron sharpens iron” means faithful friends help each other grow through encouragement, wise counsel, loving correction, and spiritual accountability. - How do I know if a friendship is wise or foolish?
A wise friendship draws you closer to truth, godliness, humility, and love. A foolish friendship leads you toward gossip, compromise, pride, sin, or harm.
For Further Reading
Photo Credit: © Unsplash/Priscilla Du Preez
Originally published Monday, 24 August 2026.
Leave a Reply