\n<\/p>\n
“Gosh, you\u2019re cute!”<\/p>\n
“You\u2019re my man.”<\/p>\n
“Thanks for everything.”<\/p>\n
Girl, there are lots of things we can say that can really make our hubby\u2019s hearts melt. I mean, what guy doesn\u2019t want to hear how cute and amazing he is? Well, let me start by saying there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to saying words that will affirm your guy and make him slowly become putty in your hands, but there are three words that will not only encourage and support him as a man, husband, and father but will also help him keep going strong, allowing him to the man God is calling him to be! What wife doesn\u2019t want that!? So, without further ado, let\u2019s address those three words, shall we?<\/p>\n
Yep, those are the words. Just going to go ahead and lay them out all up front. No need to scroll down to the bottom of this article in search of them. Here they are! The words your husband needs to hear right now – “I need you!”<\/p>\n
“So, what\u2019s the big deal with these words?,” you may ask. They sound simple enough, right?<\/p>\n
Well, for starters, these three little words let your dear husband know that he is valuable and important while also proclaiming honor and respect. But, in all honesty, it goes deeper than that. It starts with a notion on your part. Take a moment to reflect on the beginning of your love story. Where it all began. Do you remember that \u201cneed\u201d to see him? To feel his closeness or hear the sound of his voice?\u00a0<\/p>\n
Early on in our marriages (or even when we were dating), there was a sense of excitement that came with the newness of that blossoming relationship. There was also a desperate need to be together. You needed him. And he needed you. So, essentially, \u201cneeding each other\u201d and wanting to do life together gave way to a proposal that was essentially sealed with a kiss. Aww, newlywed love is so precious, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n
But, that tender and sweet love doesn\u2019t have to end there! We have the opportunity to continue to grow our love for one another, and that begins with placing our spouse\u2019s needs above our own, striving to outdo one another in service (Romans 12:10<\/a>). Some of your sweet hubby\u2019s basic needs include feeling respected and admired (Ephesians 5:22-23<\/a>), coming home to a peaceful environment (Proverbs 19:13<\/a> and 21:9), feeling sexually desirable (Corinthians 7:1-7), and the sense of real companionship (Song of Solomen 8:1-2).<\/p>\n The bottom line here is that when we say, \u201cI need you,\u201d it opens the door to meet so many of his needs and encourages him to be the husband and man you need him to be. Saying, \u201cI need you to know I see all that you are doing for our family,\u201d gives him the respect he desires. Saying, \u201cI need you to come sit with me and tell me about your day,\u201d allows him to feel that welcomed peace when he comes home from a long day at work. And simply just saying, \u201cI need you,\u201d with a passionate sparkle of \u201cwant\u201d in your eye gives him the assurance that he is still desirable.\u00a0<\/p>\n Men and women may have different needs, but these needs were meant to complement one another, not something we hold over their heads or use as a means to compete with them for love. When we show and tell our husbands that we need them, and they do the same in return, something truly beautiful emerges \u2013 we begin to experience sacrificial love and God\u2019s divine design for our marriages.<\/p>\n That means we can foster and support our husband\u2019s innate need to provide for and protect his loved ones because it is essentially a part of their DNA, given to them by the Creator. We see time and time again in The Word men leading and providing for their families. Yet, on the other hand, we also see how men failed to provide or lead well due to insecurities, cowering in fear, or many times due to the lack of support from their wives. Moses, Isaiah, and Abraham are just a few men who struggled in this area.<\/p>\n The truth of the matter is that your husband essentially needs to know that you need his leadership, provision, and protection. Sure, we are capable of much and have the ability to do many great things. I believe we even have an inner strength that men do not naturally possess since we have the ability to tap into a wealth of emotions to survive and thrive.<\/p>\n But, while the world would want to convince us (and our men) that we don\u2019t need them and that we can run on \u201cgirl power\u201d alone, God made each of us for so much more! God designed a woman to be a helper because He saw that man was no good on his own (Genesis 2:18<\/a>). Being made from Adam\u2019s rib (not any other part of his body), we were designed to be joined by his side, to be his faithful companion.\u00a0<\/p>\n God made man in such a way that he yearns to protect, provide, and care for his closest and most valuable companion. We were made in a way to long to be provided and cared for. When this need isn\u2019t met (for either side), a marriage can truly suffer. So, tell your husband you need him. You need his leadership, his protection, and his provision. Then support him in those efforts, as this shows admiration, respect, and trust, giving him that sense of companionship he so deeply craves from you.<\/p>\n “I need you\u2026to take out the trash.”\u00a0<\/p>\n “I need you… to help with dinner.”\u00a0<\/p>\n “I need you… to stop yelling at the kids.”\u00a0<\/p>\n “I need you… to lighten up.”\u00a0<\/p>\n “I need you\u2026”<\/p>\n You get the picture. It\u2019s so easy to pick out the things our man didn\u2019t do or call out the things we find annoying or even hurtful, causing us to quickly spew out emotional words that come across as nagging or casting blame. Ugh<\/em>. Let\u2019s just say your man will most likely become more defensive than the linebacker on his favorite football team.\u00a0<\/p>\n We will all mess up from time to time and say words we regret or may even have a few scars on our tongues to keep from saying those wretched things we so badly want to say. \u00a0So, the next time you want to say, \u201cI need you\u201d in a not-so-friendly way, pause and seek to understand the nature of your heart. Take a step back if you need to cool down and then try another approach because the delivery of our words can either prompt our man to react in love or cause them to land on deaf ears.<\/p>\n One of my favorite movies is The Princess Bride<\/em>. If you are familiar with this somewhat cheesy 80\u2019s rom-com, then you are well aware of the demands and orders Princess Buttercup gives to the farm boy, Westley. From polishing her horse\u2019s saddle to filling jugs with water, she does this with a piercing gaze into his soul all while adding a tender \u201cplease\u201d at the end of her command, prompting his swoon-worthy response to be, \u201cAs you wish.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n Why does he respond this way? Because he feels like she truly needs him, and him only, to provide and care for her. Could you imagine if we asked our husbands for things that we needed in the same way? Picture it now, you gaze into your husband’s eyes and sweetly say, \u201cDarling, I need you to be that handsome man of mine and create a fire to keep us all warm.\u201d His response may not exactly be \u201cAs you wish,\u201d but I’m pretty sure it will get his attention. Ha!<\/p>\n Sis, your delivery matters. What you say is, in fact, important, but even more important is the way you choose to say it.<\/p>\n Gracious God, I lift up our marriages to You. Please give us the ability to see and meet the needs of our husbands and use our words wisely. Give us the means to encourage our husbands and help us complement one another. We love that you gave us the beautiful gift of marriage, so please help us to take care of it. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.<\/p>\n Photo Credit: \u00a9GettyImages\/Drazen Zigic<\/span><\/p>\n One of the most important things you can do for your marriage is to pray for your marriage. Learning communication skills, conflict resolution techniques and intimacy hacks are great. However, if you\u2019re leaving your marriage uncovered by failing to pray for your spouse and your marriage, it will always be vulnerable to attacks. Prayer is an essential guiding tool to get you and your spouse on the same page and create unity in your marriage. In this episode of Real Relationship Talk<\/a>, Dana Che shares her acronym C.O.V.E.R., which teaches you how to specifically pray for your marriage. To listen, just click the play button below:<\/p>\nYour Husband Needs to Know He Is Needed<\/h2>\n
Our Delivery Matters<\/h2>\n
A Prayer for Your Marriage<\/h2>\n
Related Podcast Resource: 5 Ways to C.O.V.E.R. Your Marriage in Prayer<\/h2>\n