\n<\/p>\n
Most Sunday mornings, I love going to church. I grab a cup of hazelnut coffee from the lobby and settle in near the front row.<\/p>\n
I grow from the sermons. I enjoy the assortment of worship opportunities \u2014 from acoustic guitar hymns to modern songs that include a spoken word poet.<\/p>\n
Most of all, I\u2019m grateful for the people who make up the congregation, each uniquely made in God\u2019s image.<\/p>\n
One Sunday morning, I found myself wanting to break free from that place and run as far as my legs would take me. What caused me to want to escape the spiritual family I adore so much?<\/p>\n
It was when my pastor made an assertion smack-dab in the middle of a sermon I was rather enjoying, completely wrecking me. It was this: People pleasers often lie.<\/em><\/p>\n Suddenly, no longer was I a face in a crowd, sweetly sipping my creamy, hot beverage and taking notes in my whimsical journal.<\/p>\n I felt as if one of the spotlights that hung from the ceiling \u2014 normally fixated on the stage \u2014 had suddenly drop-swiveled directly toward me, placing my bright red face in portrait mode.<\/p>\n I imagined everyone giving me a side glance, surely knowing that Pastor Justin was referring to me.<\/p>\n That morning, I had to concede in my heart that my pastor was right. People pleasers often lie in order to make others happy. And I was one fantastic fibber.<\/p>\n Oh, I had good reasons for my less-than-straightforward speech. Sometimes, I slightly twisted the truth so I wouldn\u2019t hurt someone\u2019s feelings when asked for my opinion.<\/p>\n Other times, I failed to be honest because I was afraid my response might upset a friend or coworker.<\/p>\n Still, in other situations, I outright lied just to avoid a confrontation with someone over a political or other hot-topic issue.<\/p>\n And I also admit there were times I only told half the truth, conveniently leaving parts out. However, as I often tell my children, \u201cA half-truth is still a whole lie.\u201d<\/p>\n At the root of all these varied forms of dishonesty is this commonality: I lied to please someone else and due to this, I\u2019d become trapped in a cycle of people-pleasing.<\/p>\n However, all this twisting, shading, fibbing, and half-truth telling certainly does not\u00a0<\/em>please the only One who matters \u2014 the Lord.<\/p>\n In Colossians 3:9<\/a>, the Apostle Paul urges believers,\u00a0<\/em>\u201cAnd stop lying to each other. You have given up your old way of life with its habits\u201d (CEV).\u00a0<\/em>Deceit is associated with our behavior before<\/em> we become followers of Christ.<\/p>\n It is not something designed to be a character quality of those who\u2019ve responded to the gospel and become believers.<\/p>\n The original Greek word for the English phrase \u201chave given up<\/em>\u201d (v. 9) is the verb apekduomai.<\/em> It means to strip something completely and emphatically off yourself, to throw something far away. This action is to be performed by the person who is being untruthful.<\/p>\n Elsewhere in Scripture, we are told to hold two seemingly opposite actions in tension as we interact with others \u2014 to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15<\/a>).<\/p>\n I find often we perform only one of those actions while leaving the other behind, depending on our personality types.<\/p>\n Either we bark out the truth in an unloving manner or we falsely assume that the only loving thing to do is not to tell the truth at all.<\/p>\n Thankfully, I know from experience that God can empower us to stop the cycle of people-pleasing. We can learn to roll our truths in a blanket of love \u2014 remembering it is God we seek to please, not others.<\/p>\n2. You Avoid Confrontation<\/h2>\n
3. You Don\u2019t Know How to Respond<\/h2>\n