\n<\/p>\n
You may be surprised, but how you self-talk creates your success\u2026 or failure. In life. In dating. In everything.<\/p>\n
Quick example: I have a new 66-year-old client who told me she wasn\u2019t sure anyone would want to date her \u2013 after all, she was widowed. I\u2019m looking at her on our Zoom call thinking, \u201cWhat? She\u2019s darling! Dimples, gracious Texan accent and in great shape.\u201d<\/p>\n
And, I said, directly and bluntly, \u201cDon\u2019t ever say or think that again.\u201d Other than her self-demeaning talk, she sounded quite confident. However, long married life had made her very nervous about dating again. Science has proven we have something like 70,000 thoughts a day<\/a> \u2013 and 60-70% of them are negative. Isn\u2019t that startling?<\/p>\n So how should you be talking to yourself? Here\u2019s my advice that has worked with numerous clients.<\/p>\n Say to yourself, possibly out loud:<\/p>\n Yes, you should make your own decisions, take actions to complete them and be responsible for the outcomes. So, last week you played a lot of golf or tennis, binged The Diplomat<\/em>, and went online once for 20 minutes. You now have no dates this week. Decision + Actions = Result.<\/p>\n Sure, the past shapes us and has a huge impact on who we are today. Is change possible? My mom once told me the only certainty in life is change. She wasn\u2019t talking about dating, just life in general. You may have been in an unhappy marriage. You may feel you wasted five years on a man who couldn\u2019t commit.<\/p>\n