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My clients range in age from around 48 to 78 years old. I\u2019ve heard many first date encounter stories, and I\u2019d like to share some behaviors that you should absolutely watch out for. Because, let\u2019s face it, if it happened early on, it will only get worse. I like to say, \u201cThe best behavior is in the first month(s) of dating.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel, a successful 59-year-old attorney and client of mine, recapped this story for me yesterday. It was his second date with Anna, a pretty, 61-year-old doctor. They\u2019d just had a pleasant tapas\/sangria fueled dinner, and he was driving her home.<\/p>\n
She took a phone call from her ex-husband in the car, something to do with one of their children. (That\u2019s ok, right?). Well, the small incident was resolved in 5 minutes, but suddenly she blasted into a story with her ex, \u201cRemember when we\u2026\u2026\u201d and for the next 20 minutes of the car ride home reminisced with her ex in front of Daniel.<\/p>\n
Think there was a 3rd<\/sup> date? And she texted him surprised he never asked her out again.<\/p>\n If it\u2019s not an emergency or a very important call, it can wait. Otherwise, it\u2019s a red flag for disrespect.<\/p>\n Sure, you can allow a general question about how long you\u2019ve been divorced. But the buck stops there. It\u2019s none of their business at this point why you divorced, was it acrimonious, are you getting alimony, etc.<\/p>\n Mark, 65, told me a woman asked him if he ever cheated on his wife \u2013 and this on the first date. He was new to online dating and asked me if that was normal. Heck, no!<\/p>\n Maria, 49, had a date last week with Mark over a coffee. Within 10 minutes he had already told her he was estranged from his children as he was never present in their lives. Maria reported to me, \u201cAs he began launching into his dysfunctional childhood, I drained my latte and told him this wasn\u2019t going to work, in a gracious manner. And he looked confused.\u201d<\/p>\n He texted her the next day asking what he\u2019d done wrong \u2013 and while tempted to tell him, \u201cYou need a whole lot of therapy,\u201d she just said she felt no connection. Smart. There is absolutely no reason to stay for an hour when someone launches their issues on you. (Oh, she blocked him on her phone too). Things like this \u2013 you just move on!<\/p>\n Regardless of a person\u2019s day-to-day life and habits, foul language \u2013 in front of you, on an initial date \u2013 is a red flag.<\/p>\n Many people comment in online profiles that they enjoy a sense of humor. But that can range from silly, goofy, quirky, to a jokester. You either click on this \u2013 or don\u2019t!<\/p>\n On a first date? You don\u2019t even know this person. Now, I\u2019m not talking about telling funny stories, I\u2019m talking about a mean-spirited way of describing people. Talking bad about others does not resonate with the majority of people, so take it as a red flag.<\/p>\n