back-up to meeting someone new<\/a> in real life,
\nrather than concentrating all your energy on a dating site.\u00a0<\/p>\nNo matter where you go, chat with people. Sure, you\u2019d rather meet
\nsomeone at Home Depot or in the supermarket. Or at that cute place downtown
\nwhere they have a band on a Friday or Saturday night. Or at a Meetup.<\/p>\n
Or maybe your friends Carol and Danny will introduce you to\u2026 a
\nfriend of Danny\u2019s? (They met online and they\u2019ve only been married three years,
\nso who knows? Danny may have a single buddy.)<\/p>\n
Friends are a valuable and mostly untapped resource.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t let your break-up or divorce get in your way.<\/p>\n
Whitney explains that some people feel they\u2019re \u201cdoomed\u201d in relationships because their previous marriage didn\u2019t work out. \u201cThere\u2019s just no truth to that,\u201d Whitney says, because marriages end for all sorts of reasons.<\/p>\n
Take a deep look at what went wrong in your previous
\nrelationships, including whatever role you played in the problems. Learn from
\nthat. Bring that hard-earned knowledge into this next stage of your life, where
\nit can help you build a better relationship this time around.<\/p>\n
Be positive. It can happen to you.<\/p>\n
He could be right around the corner.<\/p>\n
If you never give up.<\/p>\n
In my novel, my main character does a lot of online dating, and
\nher best friend, an experienced dater, tells her how tough it is out there.
\n\u201cGet a helmet,\u201d she says. \u201cStrap it on.\u201d<\/p>\n
Do you need a helmet? In a way, yes, a metaphorical one.<\/p>\n
You need to believe in yourself, that you are worthy of love, and
\nhave the self-confidence and life experience to prevail. You\u2019ll want to try
\nonline dating when you\u2019re feeling strong and resilient. Don\u2019t try it if you\u2019re
\ngoing through difficult times or have serious health challenges.<\/p>\n
Here are 10 concrete ways to up your
\nchances of connecting with a guy who gets you.<\/p>\n
Find New People<\/h2>\n
Write one new candidate 4-6 times a week. Get a rhythm going so
\nyou\u2019re writing almost as regularly as you brush your teeth. If you limit
\nyourself to one or two emails (at the most) it won\u2019t be such a chore.<\/p>\n
Experiment with Photos<\/h2>\n
Post a new photo. Get your friends to take pictures of you riding
\nyour bike. Cooking in your cute kitchen. Playing with your spaniel. Or your pet
\nlizard. (OK, I\u2019m kidding.) <\/p>\n
You get the idea. Yes, put makeup on for your photo. Wear a hot
\npink top that makes you think \u201cHot men will soon be checking me out.\u201d
\nWhat\u2019s wrong with a little fantasy?<\/p>\n
Know Your Best Qualities<\/h2>\n
Get your friends to tell you what they most enjoy about you. Write
\ndown what they say and use it in your profile. Make them go for specifics \u2013
\nnone of that,\u00a0Suzy is a fun person.<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\nYou need more like, \u201cMy friends say I can make a meal from
\ndry toast and parsnips,\u201d or \u201cMy friends tell me I\u2019m the one they want
\nwith them when the elevator stops on the 29th floor, and we\u2019re there all
\nnight.\u201d I\u2019m not kidding. These comments are gold.<\/p>\n
No Generic Emails<\/h2>\n
When you\u2019re writing Mr. Cute, personalize your email. Just do it.
\nYes, it takes more time, but it\u2019s worth it. No one really goes for those
\ngeneric, ho hum emails.<\/p>\n
Learn More About Their Hobbies<\/h2>\n
Connect to an activity or a passion he mentions in his profile. If
\nthere is nothing, why are you writing him?<\/p>\n
No Fear of the Online World<\/h2>\n
Many women fear online dating. Don\u2019t. Tell yourself, \u201cThe Internet
\nis my friend.\u201d Mean it, even though it\u2019s corny.<\/p>\n
Go for Authenticity<\/h2>\n
Don\u2019t create a profile of an ideal version of you that simply
\ndoesn\u2019t exist. Let the real you shine through \u2013 you\u2019re beautiful just the way
\nyou are.<\/p>\n
Be Proactive<\/h2>\n
If you come to the profile of a guy you like, write him. Don\u2019t wait around to be contacted. <\/p>\n
Here\u2019s an idea. Suggest a walk in your favorite park. Seriously.
\nWrite Mr. Cute and be sure to pinpoint the exact corner where you\u2019ll meet. Get
\na breath of fresh air \u2013 so much better than sitting across the table from a
\nstranger.<\/p>\n
Keep an Open Mind<\/h2>\n
Be open-minded. You don\u2019t think he\u2019s your type? He looks dopey in
\nhis photo? He\u2019s into Lee Child novels and you\u2019re not? Open your mind, you\u2019ll
\nnever know until\u2026 well, read number ten, below.<\/p>\n
Just Meet<\/h2>\n
Nothing counts. Except The Meet. Nothing. Emailing\/messaging is a start, but that\u2019s all it is.<\/p>\n
Please share your adventures in online dating. Did you wear your
\nmetaphorical helmet? What worked for you? We\u2019d love to hear your story.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n