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Ilana Dunn didn\u2019t set out to become a dating coach. Like many of us, she endured years of trials and tribulations in relationships and relied on dating apps to help find her person.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Dunn, now the host of the Seeing Other People<\/em><\/a> podcast with nearly 50,000 subscribed listeners, had worked for several years in the music industry creating behind-the-scenes content for artists and bands. But her dating life was a \u201ccomplete dumpster fire,\u201d she told Fortune<\/em>.<\/p>\n \u201cI had this pattern that I couldn\u2019t break of only dating emotionally unavailable men who worked in the music business,\u201d Dunn said. \u201cAnd so after my who-knows-what-number bad breakup, I felt like I hit rock bottom and I couldn\u2019t listen to music. I need[ed] to get out of this industry, because it [was] causing me so much pain.\u201d<\/p>\n With that, Dunn left the music industry to take a content lead position at Hinge in 2018.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cWhen this opportunity came up, I was like, \u2018Wow, what a cool way to use all of the pain and heartbreak that I\u2019ve been through to help even just one person out there,\u2019\u201d she said. \u201cIt would make it all worth it.\u201d<\/p>\n As Dunn joined Hinge, dating-app popularity was starting to peak. Hinge was acquired by the Match Group<\/a> in 2019, which gave it some juice, and COVID-19 ushered in a pandemic-lockdown-era dating boom. Dunn even matched with her husband on a dating app\u2014although she said their connection formed in person over a glass of wine.<\/p>\n Little did Dunn know at the time that several years later, dating apps would tank under new dating expectations and sentiment<\/a> from younger generations.\u00a0<\/p>\n Forbes <\/em>found in a 2024 survey that more than 75%<\/a> of Gen Zers feel burnt out using dating apps like Hinge, Tinder, and Bumble because they don\u2019t feel as if they can find a genuine connection with someone despite how much time they spend on the apps. Match Group\u2019s financial results<\/a> earlier this year illustrate these changing attitudes: Its first-quarter profits came in at $117.6 million, compared to $123.2 million in 2024, and paid usership was down 5% from a year ago at 14.2 million users.\u00a0To be sure, Match Group on Wednesday released third-quarter earnings, showing a 2% year-over-year revenue jump. The company also invested $50 million in user-centric feature trials, marketing, and international expansion.<\/p>\n Getty Images<\/p>\n<\/div>\n But earlier this year, Match Group CEO Spencer Rascoff admitted in a letter<\/a> posted on LinkedIn<\/a> dating apps today feel like a numbers game that leaves \u201cpeople with the false impression that we prioritize metrics over experience.\u201d<\/p>\n That\u2019s led several major dating-app brands including Hinge, Bumble, and Tinder this year to introduce new features and products to their lineup. One example is a feature allowing Tinder users to pair up with friends to encourage double dating.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThis is the way Gen Z wants to connect,\u201d Rascoff said. \u201cThey want to vibe their way through meeting people.\u201d<\/p>\n While Dunn said she\u2019s glad the dating apps are trying to evolve\u2014\u201cbecause they need to\u201d\u2014she said she doesn\u2019t think there\u2019s anything they can do to save the dating-app industry altogether.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThey can try to come up with more ways to [allow] people to assess chemistry, but unless they are really pushing people to meet in real life by maybe creating more in-person activations and events where people can assess, \u2018Oh, is there a vibe here?\u2019 I don\u2019t know that they will make the comeback to being as big as they once were.\u201d<\/p>\n Gen Zers and millennials have become increasingly interested in \u201cmeet-cutes\u201d or meeting a romantic partner in real life instead of on a dating app.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t want to just be chatting people online,\u201d Louise Mason, a millennial freelance marketing specialist from Doncaster, U.K., previously told Fortune<\/em>. \u201cI don\u2019t want a pen pal.\u201d<\/p>\n That\u2019s led more people to start hosting in-real-life meetups like Max Gomez, a Gen Z communications professional, who hosted a \u201cChampagne and Shackles\u201d party to match up partygoers. They posted fliers around their neighborhood and invited a bunch of strangers for some matchmaking \u201cin real time,\u201d Gomez previously told Fortune<\/em>.<\/p>\n Getty Images<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Dunn also hosted<\/a> a master class for the art of the meet-cute with 156-year-old wine brand Maison Louis Jadot<\/a>. The idea was inspired by the classic concept of meeting a significant other: at a bar, sharing wine.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you\u2019re just sitting on your couch thinking, \u2018Wow, the apps aren\u2019t working for me and no one\u2019s banging down my door trying to meet me, I\u2019m going to be single forever,\u2019 you\u2019re not necessarily putting yourself in the best position,\u201d Dunn said.\u00a0<\/p>\n She said she predicts we\u2019ll start to see more in-person master classes, singles events, and other opportunities to meet romantic partners now that the sentiment about dating apps is changing. Still, Dunn said the fact that dating apps are making an effort to evolve shows. Hinge has lessened the number of matches a user can chat with at once, which forces users to make decisions and prioritize matches they\u2019re genuinely interested in.<\/p>\n \u201cI do think [dating apps have] come a long way in helping curate healthy dating behaviors,\u201d Dunn said. \u201cBut I also think there are just so many people who are using them so passively.\u201d<\/p>\n Dunn spent about two years at Hinge as a content lead and started her podcast Seeing Other People <\/em>in 2021, producing two episodes per week featuring dating experts.\u00a0<\/p>\n As a dating coach, she said she always encourages people to use dating apps\u2014but not only <\/em>apps.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s so much easier for somebody to hide behind their phone and put thought into the message that they\u2019re crafting,\u201d Dunn said. \u201cBut it is possible to also learn how to connect in real life, and it might take practice. It might take figuring out what you can control, and going to a bar that you\u2019re familiar with, ordering a glass of wine, and striking up a conversation with somebody.\u201d<\/p>\n She also said it\u2019s about saying yes to things, like an invitation to get drinks with a coworker or seeing who else shows up or a random birthday party.<\/p>\n \u201cSet a small goal for yourself and convince yourself that you can do it, and you\u2019ll be really pleasantly surprised at what comes out of it,\u201d said Dunn, using the example of striking up just one conversation with someone you\u2019ve never met before.<\/p>\n Another tip for dating app users: Turn conversations into dates as soon as possible, Dunn said.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cOnce you\u2019re on the date, that\u2019s where you can decide, is there a vibe? Are we interested in each other? Do we feel that chemistry?\u201d Dunn said.<\/p>\n A version of this story originally published on Fortune.com on July 7, 2024.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\nWhy dating apps won\u2019t make the comeback they\u2019re hoping for<\/h3>\n
Dating tips from Ilana Dunn<\/h3>\n