\n<\/p>\n
The world of dating is different now. Bethany is 23, having just graduated from college, and is looking to the future, when she will secure a real job, get married, and start her own family. However, the journey to achieving these goals has many challenges and uncertainties.<\/p>\n
Dating can be challenging and dating as a believer presents additional challenges. It often feels like the world has transformed in a way that puts you in situations that conflict with the teachings of God\u2019s word. Nevertheless, the Bible is clear: marriage is a sacred vow between one man and one woman, and it all starts with dating.<\/span><\/p>\n Here are twelve red flags for a new relationship, practical advice, and tips to remember.<\/span><\/p>\n Practical advice<\/span><\/u>:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0Give it time and stick with your convictions.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n It is easier for someone to deceive you if you are rushed into a relationship. \u00a0The longer the relationship takes to get started, the easier it is to see through deception and reveal the actual person and their character. Stick with your convictions about purity and do not allow yourself to be pressured.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 1 Corinthians 6:18<\/a>:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually sins against their own body. \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Practical advice<\/span><\/u>:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0Talk openly about what you want in the future.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n As you date and get married, remember that you will become one in spirit with the same goals and focus. There will be no surprises if you begin learning about this before marriage.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Philippians 2:2<\/a> –\u00a0Then make my joy complete\u00a0by being like-minded,\u00a0having the same love, being one\u00a0in spirit and of one mind.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Practical advice<\/span><\/u>:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0Create opportunities to see the dating partner in different settings with different groups of people.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Sometimes, a different personality emerges in various settings and when interacting with others. If he or she is with \u2018the boys\u2019 or \u2018the girls\u2019, they may change to fit in \u2013 treating you differently. Being around different groups will give insight into this possible personal\/behavioral change.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n James 1:8<\/a> \u2013\u00a0A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Practical Advice:<\/span><\/u>\u00a0Bring up opportunities to discuss the hot topics.<\/span><\/p>\n There are hot topics that often arise in arguments between married couples. Money, shopping habits, time management, children, chores, maintaining a clean home, pets, faith, church attendance, church services, intimacy, health, mental health, where you want to live, and communication style\/conflict resolution are just a few of those more serious topics. Discussing your perspective on these issues before entering a more serious relationship is essential.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ephesians 4:25<\/a> \u2013\u00a0Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Practical Advice:<\/span><\/u><\/strong>\u00a0Pray together and do a Bible study as a couple.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Don\u2019t just give in to the temptation of doing all the praying; instead, allow your dating partner to pray and contribute to a Bible study. This way, you can see each other\u2019s views of God and spiritual matters. It\u2019s easy for someone who is not spiritually interested to be an inactive observer rather than an active participant, which could be a red flag about their walk with God.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 2 Corinthians 6:14-16<\/a> –\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”. This encourages relationships with believers.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Practical Advice:<\/span><\/u>\u00a0Serve together.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Serving together provides a deeper understanding of the other person’s level of empathy and compassion. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or at a church event. Being on the giving end, rather than the receiving end, of attention and assistance gives you good insight into the motives of the other person.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 1 Corinthians 13:4<\/a> \u00a0<\/span><\/strong>–\u00a0<\/span>Love is patient,\u00a0love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Practical Advice:<\/span><\/u><\/strong>\u00a0Do something frustrating together.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Do a DIY project, put together furniture, cook dinner, or even fix something broken together \u2013 something that may be frustrating. This way, you understand how the other person deals with conflict.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n James 1:9<\/a> \u2013\u00a0Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Practical Advice:<\/span><\/u><\/strong>\u00a0Make opportunities to do things with each other\u2019s families.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n In-laws, issues can wreck a marriage. As you date, make dinner dates, create game nights, or cookout events that will allow each of you to visit with the families of your dating partner. This interaction will reveal how the other person treats their family and how their family will interact with you. The way a person grew up influences the person they become.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I John 1:7<\/a> \u2013\u00a0But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Practical Advice<\/span><\/u>: Be truthful \u2013 live truthfully.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Don\u2019t change the truth of who you are to fit what the other person wants. Let them see you without being dolled up \u2013 with the messy hair, no makeup, and old work clothes. Don\u2019t put on the front that you can\u2019t continue. Allow your dating partner to see your inner beauty, rather than just your outward appearance.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I Peter 3:3-4 \u2013\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes.\u00a0Instead, it should be that of your inner self,\u00a0the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God\u2019s sight.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Practical Advice<\/span><\/u>:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0Establish clear boundaries and communicate them confidently.\u00a0<\/span><\/u><\/span><\/p>\n Spend time away from the person and take the relationship slowly. God has given you an identity outside of any relationship, and no one but God should have control over your life. Establish clear boundaries regarding how you use your time and money, your decisions, and the people you associate with. The need to control will begin in the dating relationship \u2013 be watchful. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Galatians 5:1<\/a> \u2013\u00a0It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Practical Advice:<\/span><\/u><\/strong>\u00a0Be mindful and aware.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Don\u2019t fall into the trap of allowing the relationship to be one-sided. Be mindful if everything begins to revolve around one person \u2013 all communication, all decisions, all celebrations, and all problem-solving. The focus should be on both individuals, with equal importance given to each one. Be truthful and confident in advocating for yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n Philippians 2:3-4<\/a> \u2013\u00a0Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Instead, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Practical Advice<\/span><\/u>:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0Establish clear boundaries and rules around the use of money.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Measuring a person\u2019s heart by how they use their money is easy. If generosity is shown, it is easier to believe that their heart is compassionate and honoring to God\u2019s scripture and not filled with greed and selfishness. Have that complicated conversation and establish clear rules about who will pay for what and when.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Proverbs 3:9<\/a> \u2013\u00a0Honor the Lord with your wealth and the first fruits of all your produce.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Genesis 2:24<\/a> tells us that: a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.\u00a0<\/span><\/em>Remember, do not allow yourself or your standards to be changed to fit another person’s needs. God has ordered your steps and the people you will interact with and join, so spend quiet devotion and prayer to seek His will for your life.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Photo Credit: \u00a9Getty Images\/Morsa Images<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n The world of dating is different now. Bethany is 23, having just graduated from college, and is looking to the future, when she will secure a real job, get married, and start her own family. However, the journey to achieving these goals has many challenges and uncertainties. Dating can be challenging and dating as a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":883,"featured_media":16923,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[105],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16922","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating"],"yoast_head":"\n1. Red flag<\/span><\/strong>: They press or rush you into a relationship.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
2. Red flag<\/span><\/strong>: They don\u2019t seem to have or are secretive about plans for the future.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
3. Red flag<\/span><\/strong>: The person\u2019s personality changes depending on their group.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
4. Red flag<\/span><\/strong>: They never want to discuss more serious topics.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
5. Red flag:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0If they don\u2019t seem interested in attending church or spiritual matters.<\/span><\/h2>\n
6. Red flag:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0They do not seem compassionate toward others, especially toward those who are less fortunate than they are.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
7. Red flag:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0You notice a volatile behavior change when they are frustrated.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
8. Red flag:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0They never talk about or introduce you to their families.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
9. Red flag:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0You find yourself changing to meet the other person’s needs.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
10. \u00a0Red flag:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0 They want to control your every move.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
11. Red flag:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0 They only want to talk about themselves and don\u2019t seem interested in you or your life.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
12. Red flag:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0They always seem to be out of money and want you to pay for everything.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n