\n<\/p>\n
Buying a house is exciting! Securing a place to call home and raise your family on your terms is a huge blessing. However, this blessing comes with a boatload of responsibilities. Deep cleaning, repairs, lawn maintenance, and gardening, among other responsibilities, are inevitable. They must\u00a0<\/span>be done<\/span>\u00a0regularly for the home to function at\u00a0<\/span>optimum<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n Glossing over home maintenance will lead to\u00a0<\/span>dire consequences like<\/span>\u00a0health hazards, pest infestation, decreased property value, structural damage, and skyrocketing repair costs. Besides, trying to sell off a neglected home is not easy. The house needs to\u00a0<\/span>be renovated<\/span>\u00a0first, which costs\u00a0<\/span>a whole lot<\/span>\u00a0more than maintaining it. \u00a0Similarly, in life, anything that\u00a0<\/span>is not tended<\/span>\u00a0to deteriorate. King Solomon was intrigued by what neglect can do and put it this way:<\/span><\/p>\n \u201c<\/span>I went by the field of the lazy man, and by the vineyard of the man devoid of understanding. And there it was, all overgrown with thorns;\u00a0<\/span>Its surface was covered<\/span>\u00a0with nettles;\u00a0<\/span>Its stone wall was broken down<\/span>. \u00a0When I saw it, I considered it well; I looked on it and received instruction: A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to rest; So shall your poverty come like a prowler, And your need like an armed man.\u201d (Proverbs 24:30-34<\/a><\/span>)<\/span><\/p>\n Marriage is no exception when it comes to maintenance. If a marriage\u00a0<\/span>is not tended<\/span>\u00a0to, cracks are inevitable. Sometimes the cracks run so deep that couples\u00a0<\/span>revert to abandoning<\/span>\u00a0the marriage altogether. But here\u2019s the thing – most couples kick off marriage totally in sync and in Love with each other. Newly married couples find it hard to envision anything that could go belly up in their union. Like a new homeowner, they are eager to have a little heaven on earth.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n If settling into the marriage and going on with life is all a couple does, weeds and thorns\u00a0<\/span>are bound to<\/span>\u00a0spring up in their marriage garden. If paying bills, raising kids, and building careers\/businesses are all they prioritize, trouble is inevitable.\u00a0<\/span>When couples fail to intentionally tend to their relationship, they\u00a0<\/span>are neglecting<\/span>\u00a0the foundational aspect of maintenance and inadvertently\u00a0<\/span>paving<\/span>\u00a0the way for renovation.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n King Solomon attributed the\u00a0<\/span>atrophy of the neglected field to both<\/span>\u00a0laziness and lack of understanding.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>Granted, some couples are well aware that\u00a0<\/span>like a car,<\/span>\u00a0a marriage cannot run without regular servicing. Perhaps their premarital counselors did an awesome job preparing them for marriage. But they keep putting off the servicing of their marriage and attend to other more pressing matters.<\/span>\u00a0They may prioritise everything else but their marriage.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Other couples\u00a0<\/span>are simply devoid of<\/span>\u00a0the understanding that they need to maintain their marriage. In the end, the two groups of couples end up in troubled marriages. \u00a0Things like resentment, unresolved conflict, unmet needs, poor communication, and lack of intimacy choke the air out of their once blissful\u00a0<\/span>marriage<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Maintaining a marriage\u00a0<\/span>majorly<\/span>\u00a0involves embracing healthy habits\u00a0<\/span>geared towards keeping<\/span>\u00a0the marriage fire burning. It entails the daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, or yearly intentional habits that a couple embraces\u00a0<\/span>in order<\/span>\u00a0to keep their marriage wheels turning.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The importance of open and honest communication in marriage cannot\u00a0<\/span>be overstated<\/span>. After all, it is communication that brings a couple together.\u00a0<\/span>To<\/span>\u00a0stick together and keep each other enthused<\/span>, couples need to communicate effectively<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>Two cannot walk together unless they agree (Amos 3:3<\/a><\/span>). Poor communication or lack\u00a0<\/span>of it<\/span>\u00a0causes couples to drift apart and fosters mistrust. It also injures the couple\u2019s emotional intimacy and sets the stage for unresolved conflict and marital dissatisfaction.\u00a0<\/span>On the other<\/span>\u00a0hand, effective communication\u00a0<\/span>is laced<\/span>\u00a0with respect and empathy. Each spouse should be willing to compromise, and\u00a0<\/span>blame should be avoided<\/span>. Couples need to carve out time regularly to communicate as a critical way of maintaining their marriage.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Nobody saunters into marriage without needs and expectations. Couples get into marriage with a set of physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. They tie the knot\u00a0<\/span>in\u00a0<\/span>full<\/span>\u00a0confidence<\/span>\u00a0that their spouse will satiate those needs. When spouses\u00a0<\/span>are intentional in meeting<\/span>\u00a0each other\u2019s needs, marital satisfaction soars through the roof. On the other hand, when they gloss over each other\u2019s needs, resentment kicks in.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Seek to know from your spouse what rocks their boat and set out to enthuse them. In most cases, your needs as a man will be polar opposite to those of your wife.\u00a0<\/span>So\u00a0<\/span>don\u2019t assume you<\/span>\u00a0know what floats your partner\u2019s boat; find out from them and set out to enthuse them.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n And while at it, don\u2019t wait for your partner to take the first step in meeting your needs. Be the first to disarm them with your thoughtful and loving actions and watch them follow suit. Paul urges us to esteem others more highly than ourselves (Philippians 2:3<\/a>). In the long run, you will find yourselves outdoing each other in expressing honor (Romans 12:10<\/a>), and your marriage will naturally bloom.<\/span><\/p>\n Whatever you do, keep dating your spouse.\u00a0<\/span>This<\/span>\u00a0will help keep your marriage a priority and keep the romance brewing. As a result, your emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy\u00a0<\/span>is strengthened<\/span>. It also\u00a0<\/span>helps you<\/span>\u00a0communicate better and nurture your friendship. So, keep the dates night going, explore shared interests, hit the road for a vacation without the kids, go for a movie, and try hiking or a road trip, among other juicy activities.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Renovating your marriage is a more intensive exercise\u00a0<\/span>that will involve<\/span>\u00a0rebuilding trust and sealing the cracks in your marriage.\u00a0<\/span>The couple has to buckle up and\u00a0<\/span>purpose to<\/span>\u00a0stick through the process which can be agonizing as emotions come to the fore.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Marriage counselling offers a safe space\u00a0<\/span>where a couple can<\/span>\u00a0explore the icky habits sabotaging their union. Through guided conversations and professional support, the couple\u00a0<\/span>gets<\/span>\u00a0equipped to explore their challenges and rebuild their relationship.<\/span>\u00a0In the end,\u00a0<\/span>communication can be improved<\/span>,\u00a0<\/span>conflict can be resolved<\/span>, and\u00a0<\/span>intimacy can be restored<\/span>. The couple\u00a0<\/span>is also equipped<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>to better understand one another<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>in order to<\/span>\u00a0meet each other\u2019s needs. Counseling is a tested and proven way of renovating a marriage. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Both partners will need to intentionally forgive and let go of the hurt they have caused each other. Unmet needs, strained intimacy, unresolved conflict, poor communication, disrespect, and mistrust all compound and cause resentment between spouses.\u00a0<\/span>A couple may get stuck if one or both\u00a0<\/span>of them are not willing<\/span>\u00a0to let go of old hurts.<\/span>\u00a0For the marriage to get a new lease, each spouse\u00a0<\/span>needs to<\/span>\u00a0be willing to forgive. Granted, some wounds like marital unfaithfulness cut very deep, and forgiveness may take time. It\u2019s therefore\u00a0<\/span>important<\/span>\u00a0for spouses to be patient with each other as they embrace forgiveness.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n When couples seek to love each other God\u2019s way, healing and restoration are guaranteed. The apostle Paul describes Love as patient,\u00a0kind, not envious, not boastful, and not proud.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>Love does not dishonour others, is not self-seeking, is\u00a0<\/span>not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. It does not delight in evil\u00a0but rejoices with the truth.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>It always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>Love never fails<\/a> (1 Corinthians 13:4-8<\/a>).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Even the most dented marriage can\u00a0<\/span>be reconstructed<\/span>\u00a0when couples purpose to love each other God\u2019s way. There will be forgiveness, goodwill, humility, forbearance, respect, and trust. Further, the Bible instructs wives\u00a0<\/span>to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord and husbands to love their wives<\/span>\u00a0just as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:22<\/a>,25).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n3 Important Marriage Maintenance Habits<\/span><\/h2>\n
Communicate Effectively<\/span><\/h2>\n
Meet Your Spouse\u2019s Needs<\/span><\/h2>\n
Keep Dating<\/span><\/h2>\n
3 Important Renovation Habits<\/span><\/h2>\n
Consider Marriage Counselling<\/span><\/h2>\n
Purpose to Forgive<\/span><\/h2>\n
Love God\u2019s Way<\/span><\/h2>\n