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Most of us don\u2019t like being told \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
This seemingly harmless two-letter word can unleash a tsunami of emotions we may have neatly packed away and labeled with a Sharpie, \u201coff limits.\u201d The reality is we often hear\u00a0<\/em>more than is being said\u00a0<\/em>when we find ourselves on the sending or receiving end of a \u201cno.\u201d While a person may simply be setting a boundary, we may hear a challenge to our identity and authority, which can feel scary and potentially threatening.\u00a0<\/p>\n I remember the first time my cute, little, fat-cheeked, can-do-no-wrong, 1-year-old exercised his human autonomy and told me, \u201cNo!\u201d His favorite word quickly became my least. It was as if he proudly pinned a golden badge on his chest, signaling to us all there was a new sheriff in his toddler town who wielded the power to set down the law. My heart questioned how dare this little rascal, who I labored 47 hours to get here, tell me what he was unwilling to do. Blindsided by his response, I forgot the basic truth that God hardwired each of us to start setting boundaries at an early age.\u00a0<\/p>\n Psychologists contend that between 1 and 3 years of age, toddlers begin asserting their independence. With a child\u2019s first \u201cno,\u201d parents gain clarity and insight into their child\u2019s true desires and wants, requiring fewer assumptions. According to the famous developmental psychologist Erik Erickson, a parent\u2019s response to their toddler\u2019s newfound autonomy is pivotal and can affect their development well into adulthood. Critical responses from a caregiver signal to children it is risky to set boundaries, while patient and loving responses communicate that setting boundaries is safe and important.\u00a0<\/p>\n If you struggle with setting boundaries and saying no, you are not alone. A recent study determined almost 60% of Americans have difficulty informing others that a request, action, or behavior is not acceptable. This statistic begs the question, if we are wired by God to set boundaries as children, why are they so hard to set as adults? Some of our hesitance can be traced back to our past experiences. When attempts to set boundaries are met with rejection, disappointment, or anger, old hurts, and wounds can surface, causing us to feel reluctant to set boundaries in the future.\u00a0<\/p>\n Photo credit: \u00a9GettyImages\/kupicoo<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n The Bible offers us a masterclass in boundary setting. Genesis depicts a purposeful, intentional God assigning each of his creations distinct boundaries by specifying their roles and responsibilities on earth. The sun, waters, shores, day and night were given a clear territory. In fact, God communicated His first \u201cNo\u201d in Genesis. After granting Adam and Eve access to an entire garden filled with trees for pleasure and food, they were instructed to respect God\u2019s limit – the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. When they ignored this line in the sand, they committed the world\u2019s first sin, refusing to trust the perfection of God\u2019s parameters. We still live with the consequences of that decision today.\u00a0<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Accepting and walking in the goodness of boundaries can be hard. Like Adam and Eve, we are regularly challenged to communicate and stand firm in our convictions. If Eve simply responded \u201cno\u201d to the serpent\u2019s temptation, sin may have never entered the world. Settling for an easy \u201cyes\u201d can forfeit the long-term benefits of maintaining strong boundaries, resulting in consequences that tend to be harder, more painful, and longer-lasting.\u00a0<\/p>\n Boundaries communicate a standard of acceptable behaviors that are required to live the purposeful lives God intended for us. Below are seven types of boundaries God expects us to set.\u00a0<\/p>\n Photo Credit: Jenny Smith\/Unsplash<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n It\u2019s easy to doubt and fear. In challenging situations, I could be nominated to win the award for creating the most outrageous, unlikely \u201cwhat if\u201d scenarios in my mind. If I\u2019m not careful, my runaway thoughts can lead me into dangerous territory. When we do not proactively manage our thoughts, our minds become prime real estate for discouragement, depression, overwhelm, and even anxiety to set up residence. Philippians 4:8<\/a> instructs us to think about those things which are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.\u00a0<\/p>\n “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” – Philippians 4:8<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Otherwise, our hyperactive imaginations can cause our fears to seem more likely to happen than they truly are. God\u2019s Word places our thoughts and fears in perspective and reminds us that every outcome is subject to the sovereignty of a God who has good plans and hope for us (Jeremiah 29:11<\/a>). Instead of ruminating on the worst, we are called to cast down negative thoughts and renew our minds. In doing so, we avoid conforming to the behaviors of this world and become transformed into His image (2 Corinthians 10:5<\/a>).\u00a0<\/p>\n “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 10:5<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\nWhat Does the Bible Say about Boundaries?<\/h2>\n
1. Boundaries on Our Thoughts<\/h2>\n
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