\n<\/p>\n
Have you ever loaned money to a friend with a promise of repayment, but the debt was never satisfied? Or perhaps you sold an item but didn\u2019t receive the\u00a0money you were due? As a matter of justice, we want accounts to be kept. We want others to pay what they owe.<\/p>\n
One of my first jobs involved debt collection. Thankfully, I didn\u2019t work for a sleazy agency that harassed poor people who had no money. Instead, I worked for a corporation that sold products and called other businesses to remind them about overdue invoices. Many times, people appreciated the nudge and paid their bills. In these cases, the company could continue to buy products and services in a mutually beneficial business relationship.<\/p>\n
When\u00a0the company did not pay the debt,\u00a0however,\u00a0it could no longer purchase products. The\u00a0business relationship was broken.<\/p>\n
The debt of sin breaks relationships, too.<\/p>\n
I remember my broken heart in third grade when my best friend said something mean. I hid and cried all through recess. That relationship never recovered. Little did I know life would grow\u00a0more difficult. A few years later, my father\u2019s neglect and my parents\u2019 divorce damaged my family and skewed future adult relationships.<\/p>\n
Since then, I\u2019ve endured much worse offenses. I cannot think of any sin more painful than an attack against an innocent person I love. Must I forgive? And how could I possibly restore the relationship? What if the offender\u2019s not sorry? I\u2019ve wept and wrestled with these questions as I sought to imitate Jesus. In the process, I\u2019ve learned more about what forgiveness is\u2014and is not.<\/p>\n
Before Adam and Eve sinned, they enjoyed perfect fellowship with God. They walked and talked with Him in a transparent relationship. God revealed Himself to them, and they hid nothing from Him. The Bible says, \u201cThe man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame\u201d (Genesis 2:25<\/a> NLT).<\/p>\n When Adam and Eve sinned, their seamless connection with God\u00a0was torn. Fear gripped them because they owed God a debt for their transgression, but they had no way to pay. Just as monetary debts do not disappear when a person physically dies, the spiritual death of Adam and Eve did not cancel their obligation to God. The debt of sin passed down through generations and still torments people today.<\/p>\n In His infinite mercy, God provided a temporary solution for the growing debt of His people. He accepted the sacrifice of animals to cover their sins. Later, God sent His Son, Jesus, to\u00a0accept\u00a0the penalty so people would no longer need to offer animals. His death on the cross paid off the entire crushing balance of sin for all people. If you have trusted Jesus for salvation, then your\u00a0debt of sin\u00a0is paid in full.<\/p>\n We must never forget the sacrifice of His Son\u00a0cost\u00a0Father God dearly. He and Jesus had always enjoyed perfect unity since before time began. They, along with the Holy Spirit, are one. If you are a parent of a child who\u2019s\u00a0been hurt, you can understand a small taste of Father God\u2019s anguish as He watched evil people torture and kill His innocent Son.<\/p>\n While Jesus lived on earth, He taught us to pray to God about our sins. He instructed us to say, \u201cAnd forgive us our sins, for we\u00a0ourselves\u00a0also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And do not lead us into temptation\u201d (Luke 11:4<\/a> NASB).<\/p>\n Jesus showed us a pattern to follow regarding sin. When we disobey God, we should repent and ask for pardon. In response, He washes away guilt and restores us to a right relationship with Him. This pattern carries over into our relationships with others. If someone offends us, they should show remorse and ask for our forgiveness. Following God\u2019s example, we forgive their debt to us (Colossians 3:13<\/a>).<\/p>\n What happens when someone can\u2019t\u2014or won\u2019t\u2014ask for forgiveness?\u00a0Or perhaps they say they\u2019re\u00a0sorry,\u00a0but\u00a0then\u00a0continue to commit the same sin.\u00a0Peter posed this critical question to Jesus when he asked, \u201cLord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?\u201d (Matthew 18:21<\/a> NLT). Essentially, Peter wanted to know when his responsibility to forgive ended.<\/p>\n When we neglect or refuse to forgive the sins of others, we become like a collection agency. The debt of their sin\u00a0weighs us down\u00a0with an obligation to make them pay. At first, we may relish the prospect of extracting restitution from the person who wronged us.<\/p>\n Over time, though, the task of debt collection\u00a0grows burdensome.\u00a0When the offender does not meet our expectations, our hearts harden toward them. If we continue the relationship, resentment may seep in. A feeling of superiority\u2014pride<\/a>\u2014follows close on the heels of resentment. Over time, bitterness develops and gives Satan a foothold in our lives. The weight of the debt prevents us from obeying God\u2019s mandate to love this offending neighbor as ourselves.<\/p>\n Jesus answered Peter\u2019s question about how often to forgive:\u00a0<\/em>\u201c\u2019No, not seven times,\u2019 Jesus replied, \u2018but seventy times seven!\u2019\u201d (Matthew 18:22<\/a> NLT). I can imagine Peter\u2019s heart must have plummeted when he heard these words. Impossible!<\/p>\n Seventy times seven is a figure of speech that means no limits.\u00a0Jesus intends for us to forgive the coworker who gossips behind our\u00a0back\u00a0every day. The\u00a0neighbor who bothers us with loud parties. The\u00a0jealous sibling who always stirs up trouble. The\u00a0spouse who broke vows. And\u00a0even the person who victimized a loved one.\u00a0This elevated standard of forgiveness would be impossible without the help of God\u2019s Spirit.<\/p>\n Forgiveness means giving up our claim against the person who sinned against us. Depending on the nature of the offense, a pardon may also include\u00a0the restoration of\u00a0a broken relationship. When restoration is reasonable and safe,\u00a0trust must be earned.<\/p>\n While reunification may not be possible or prudent in every instance, God always wants us to forgive.<\/p>\n Photo Credit: \u00a9GettyImages\/seb_ra<\/span><\/p>\n Empowered by the Holy Spirit within us, we can\u00a0release\u00a0control of debt collection\u00a0to God\u00a0and forgive every offense.<\/p>\n 1. Meditate on the suffering and death Jesus endured to forgive all sins.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Picture yourself at the foot of the cross of Jesus. Remember, the blood He shed covers every person\u2019s transgressions, including the ones that hurt you. Ultimately, offenses are, first and foremost, against God. But we often get caught in the crossfire of sin. Let\u2019s not shortchange the value of Jesus\u2019 extreme sacrifice with a refusal to apply His shed blood to every sin we\u2019ve suffered at the hands of others.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s a link you could use on this topic: https:\/\/annieyorty.com\/gods-person\/the-crossfire-of-sin\/<\/p>\n 2. With God, lament the offense you\u2019ve suffered.<\/strong><\/p>\n In this necessary step, pour\u00a0out\u00a0your heart to God about the full scope of the sin against you. If the offense is minor, this process may be quick and easy. But life-changing hurts can take more time as you talk to God about the tendrils of pain that have crept into every area of your life.\u00a0This\u00a0is not the time to minimize or excuse. Be honest with Him about the effects of the other person\u2019s actions on your life.\u00a0If you think of the offense as a plant, you want to apply the power of Jesus\u2019 sacrifice\u00a0not only\u00a0to the leaves and\u00a0fruit,\u00a0but also\u00a0all the way\u00a0down to the deepest root.<\/p>\n 3. In prayer, turn the responsibility of debt collection\u00a0for sins against you over\u00a0to Jesus.<\/strong><\/p>\n As the One who paid the penalty, He may choose if and when to exact payment from the offender. Thank Jesus for relieving you of the weight of this responsibility.<\/p>\n 4. Release the person who sinned against you from their debt.<\/strong><\/p>\n In your own words and\u00a0in\u00a0the presence of Jesus, follow this pattern:<\/p>\n [<\/em>Name\u00a0of person], I choose to forgive and release you for [n<\/em>ame\u00a0the\u00a0offense]. I will no longer expect you to repay me in any way. This offense is now between you and God. I trust Him to deal with you according to His wisdom, justice, and mercy.<\/em><\/p>\n 5. Speaking again to God, express your desire for God\u2019s best for the person who has hurt you.<\/strong><\/p>\n Jesus said, \u201cBless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you\u201d (Luke 6:28<\/a> NLT). If you struggle to bless the offender, ask God to give you faith to trust and obey Him. He gives\u00a0power\u00a0to see the person who sinned against you through His eyes of love and compassion.<\/p>\n 6. Conclude in prayer with gratitude for the mercy God has shown to you.<\/strong><\/p>\n Dear Father God, I\u2019m grateful for Your tender mercy toward me. Through Jesus, I have forgiveness for my\u00a0own\u00a0sins. You also carry the burden of offenses committed against me so my life won\u2019t\u00a0be controlled\u00a0by bitterness and malice. You give me comfort and peace when I come to You. I trust You to bring justice to my situation in Your perfect timing, so I\u2019ll turn over the offender’s debt to Your capable hands. I pray in Jesus\u2019\u00a0name. Amen.<\/em><\/p>\n God\u2019s forgiveness of our sins is always complete and lasting. But our forgiveness of others may sometimes need to be renewed. If old feelings resurface, we may\u00a0once\u00a0again feel the weight of unforgiveness. At these times, we can run to God and regain inner peace by going through the steps of forgiveness again.<\/p>\n Whether the offender is sorry or not, this process of forgiveness allows us to exchange the burden of exacting justice for the peace of God. We can trust Him to handle every offense against us.<\/p>\n Photo Credit: \u00a9Getty Images\/evgenyatamanenko<\/span><\/p>\nGod\u2019s Command<\/strong><\/h2>\n
The Burden of Unforgiveness<\/strong><\/h2>\n
6 Steps in the Process of Forgiveness<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Live Unburdened<\/strong><\/h2>\n